Sitting here in my quiet house I've found myself feeling nostalgic and reminiscing about things in my past. Sometimes it freaks me out a little bit when I stop and see where I am today. What happened to that young teenage girl who felt like life and all it had in store for her was so far, so very far away?
Wanting to "grow up" and get married, have kids, those were pretty much my biggest hopes and dreams. I'm not sure I really thought about what I'd do after I got those things I wanted. Kind of like the fairy tales, they only seem to take the story to finding Prince charming, then they usually end there, as if happily ever after can only be achieved by finding ones Prince.
Many women give up great dreams and ambition to marry their prince, then raising children and being a wife take the place, but usually still lingering in the back of their minds are those dreams they gave up for love and family. What things did I give up?
I think part of me only allowed myself marriage and kids as my dream because I felt it was something achievable. Not as daunting as completing college or pursuing a career. But I don't know, maybe not. I love my life and I love my kids, but when the house is quiet and there is no work to be done, I can't help but think about my life as a single women, caring only for myself and not having to worry about duties of wife and mom. I miss my old friends, I miss my old hobbies, I sometimes miss that girl I use to be. Why? It's so stupid. If we always stayed the same and life never changed how horrible would that be?
I guess it's good these times in my life are rare. Because thinking about my past tends to make me gloomy. I'm always happier looking towards the future and wondering what else the Lord has in store for my life.
However, it might not hurt to bring back some of those old hobbies I use to love, make me feel "young" again...ya know? Okay, who wants to go rock climbing with me?
2 comments:
I think everyone feels this way sometimes, friendy. I will totally play soccer with you, btw. :) Love ya.
Thanks for sharing! I can relate to these feelings too, and sometimes grow nostalgic for the old-Amy that had so much energy and ambition. I recently heard someone say that, with scientific advances, if you were under 40 in the year 2000, the chances of you living a fairly healthy life until the age 100 are pretty high. So, the question is, "What do you want to do when you grow up?" We still have a lot of good times ahead, when we're not so tired taking care of small children!! That gives me hope. :) Thanks again for sharing. :)
Post a Comment