Saturday, January 20, 2007

Passion

Recently I was talking with a friend of mine when the topic of "What are you passionate about" was brought up. Ironically it was a conversation related to fashion and personal style, but after we talked it got me thinking. What am I passionate about? When was the last time I actually took the time to even review my life and consider what I have done, where I am going and what I want to do?

So often I find myself just going with the flow, living my life one day at a time and just seeing what happens. I've found that even when I'm not paying any attention God is constantly working, always moving in my life and in the lives of those around me. And yet, I rarely take the time to acknowledge Him beyond my moments spent in my quiet time and sunday morning service.

Not to long ago if you were to approach me and say "Missi, what are you passionate about? What has God been doing in your life" I would probably have smiled and said "Got all afternoon?"...but if you were to ask me that right now, I'd have to stop and think...maybe take a few days to really digest the question and come up with an answer.

What are you passionate about? What desires has God given to you that drive you in life? Do you have goals? Dreams? Beyond the exterior...who are you and why?

Last night I spent a very fit full nights rest, trying to get comfortable with my large pregnancy belly and constant visits to the bathroom. In the stillness of the night I found myself lost in thoughts and memories of my life and where God has taken me. I wanted to cry as I poundered everything God has done for me and how I take so much...if not all of it, for granted. Without even realizing my own selfishness I saw just how much I felt entitled to the good life I have lead, all the blessings that God has continually poured out to me. Hardships? What are those? I think I have had hardships, after all when I was single I struggled with money often, I gained weight, I lost friendships and broke off relationships that hurt so bad at the time, I've fought with siblings, I've gotten angry at people and various meaningless circumstances...but aside from that, what have I ever suffered? Nothing. Not really.

I guess I don't really know where I'm going with this post other then it has been humbling to take the time to review my life and see just how merciful God is and how it must pain Him to see the way I react to the life He has so graciously given to me. I know I don't thank people in my life enough for what they have done, let alone taken the time to thank God for what he has done/given to me.

As far as my passions and desires...I think I need to take more time to think it over before I have any kind of an answer beyond the very basic longings of my heart. Anyway, something to think about.

Tomorrow is my husbands birthday! Today we are throwing a little party for him! It should be a fun day!

5 comments:

Kristen said...

I think we all go through feeling like that.

I'm still figuring out what I'm passionate about...I'm glad our talk gave you something to think about while you were awake last night. lol :)

Give me a call if you need anything! Tonight was fun!

Anonymous said...

Happy birthday to JB and praying for a safe delivery!

Kristen said...

Today is the day, today is the day...la-la-la!

Amy K said...

I think passions go along with goals. When you're single you are working toward lots of goals, one of the main ones (I found) being finishing school. When you're married, done with school and settling down, the goals become less defined. I know it was hard for us to readjust after we were first married and done with school.

But I agree--it's always important to discover what God has put in your heart to do and pursue it passionately. Just recently I was reflecting on the fact that, YES, I do have a special calling from God even though I feel like my identity and purpose is lost on me sometimes.

Amy K said...

Congratulations!! Just heard the exciting news. We want pictures. :)